‘Starting Over Again after a Relationship Breakup’ by Karina Chapman

Starting over again after the dissolution of a relationship can be both challenging and exciting. Whether you are coming out of a long-term relationship, a breakup, or a divorce, there are some important things you need to consider before jumping back into the dating arena.
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The first thing that you need to do for yourself is take time to heal. It is essential to give yourself time to heal from any past hurt or disappointment before starting a new relationship. This can mean taking some time off from dating altogether and learning from the past, so you do not repeat the same mistakes or attract the wrong person in the future.

For some singles this could mean exploring relationship issues from the past through therapy or counselling to work through any lingering emotional blocks that may inhibit you from successfully connecting with another partner in the future.
Before dating again, it is also helpful to give yourself time to rediscover who you are. Plan fun activities with supportive friends or family to reconnect with the essence of who you are, which can often become lost during a failing relationship. Regaining consciousness of what you enjoy in life and taking time to reconnect with yourself gives you clarity and confidence to help you move forward while you are healing.

Often when a relationship has failed, singles are focused more on what they don’t want in a relationship rather than what they do want. However, with time for reflection you can discover what the opposite to negative traits from previous partners are and make a list of the positive qualities that you would like to attract in future relationship connections. Gaining clarity on what you really want in a relationship will help you to connect with the right prospective partner in the future.
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Becoming aware of the values that are important to you before dating again is imperative, as having matching values ensures a successful long-term relationship. Many relationships fail because both parties’ values are not in alignment with each other.

Other things that are helpful to consider before jumping back into the dating world, are what your deal breakers and priorities are. Ask yourself what interests or hobbies that are important to you that you would like to share with a new partner.

Shared interests can help strengthen bonds between couples, so if you want someone who loves attending sporting events or is enthusiastic about engaging in activities that you love, it’s vital that you are aware of which leisure pursuits you want to enjoy with a new partner before you start dating again. Knowing what you want will help you find someone who is a good match for you.
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Communication is key in any relationship. Being honest and open with yourself and your partner about your intentions and expectations can strengthen your bond. Don’t be afraid to discuss your feelings, concerns, and boundaries at the start of a relationship, as it’s best to ‘start as you mean to go on’ to create the best relationships.

Starting a new relationship can be exciting, but it is important to take things slow. Rushing into a relationship can lead to future disappointment and heartbreak. Take the time to get to know your partner, discover their values, behavioural and character traits to ensure they match what you are looking for before falling head-over-heels for the wrong person again. This helps you to build a solid foundation.

Remain focused on the present. Past experiences or relationships may cloud your judgment or affect your new relationship negatively. By focusing on the present, it allows you to enjoy the journey towards love again.

Another imperative thing to remember is to have fun together. Relationships should be enjoyable and fulfilling, so when you make time for fun activities and experiences with your partner it strengthens your connection.

Remember, starting over with a new relationship is an opportunity to gain experience and grow. Keep an open mind, communicate honestly, be clear on what you want and enjoy the journey!
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Meet Our Contributor — Karina Chapman

Credit: Karina Chapman

Karina Chapman is an Author, Speaker, Conscious Connection Expert, Relationship and Dating Coach based in Adelaide, South Australia. She is passionate about teaching others how to attract the relationships they dream of into their lives. With over thirty years in industries where communication and connection are essential, she now helps others connect consciously through her books, speaking, courses and Aligned Connections Program. Now more than ever before, we need to create more quality, long term relationships. Karina helps others gain clarity and knowledge around who their perfect match is that they want to attract, then how to use that clear vision to connect with others to create new, lasting love connections.