Overcoming Sexual Taboos When Discussing Intimacy

Credit: Style My Soul, www.stylemysoul.com | Exploring Sexual Taboos

Sexual taboos remain a challenging topic in many cultures, affecting open discussions about intimacy and health. Style My Soul explores personal experiences and the complex interplay between cultural identity, religious teachings, and societal norms surrounding sex. Drawing on insights from experts, we examine how these factors contribute to silence, trauma suppression, and the prioritization of morality over health in conversations about sex.

Cultural Fear Breeds Silence on Intimacy
One reason sex remains taboo in some circles is the deep-rooted cultural fear around discussing anything related to intimacy openly, often tied to shame or protecting tradition. I was raised in a household where sex was rarely mentioned and always hinted at as something secretive or even wrong outside marriage. This silence made me curious but also uncomfortable asking questions, which created confusion during my teenage years. What helped me overcome this taboo was a conversation with a trusted mentor in college who spoke frankly about consent and healthy relationships. That openness shattered the idea that sex had to be hidden or embarrassing. It taught me that talking openly leads to better understanding and respect, both for myself and others. Personal experience showed me that breaking the silence is the first step toward healthier attitudes and connections. - Nikita Sherbina, Co-Founder & CEO, AIScreen

Cultural Identity Shapes Sexual Taboos
As a sex therapist in training, I’ve observed that sexual taboos often persist due to their deep entanglement with cultural identity. Many clients come to me struggling with guilt because they feel their sexual experiences conflict with their cultural background — these internalized messages create invisible barriers to intimacy that they can’t articulate. Growing up in a multicultural environment, I received conflicting messages about sexuality which initially made me hesitant to discuss these topics openly. This personal journey ultimately inspired my pursuit of certification in sex therapy, as I recognized how cultural differences in approaching sexuality can create isolation.

In my practice, I’ve worked with couples where cultural differences in sexual expression created misunderstandings that seemed insurmountable. One couple came to me after years of miscommunication — one partner was raised to believe explicitly discussing desires was inappropriate, while the other interpreted this silence as rejection. Creating a culturally sensitive space allowed them to develop a shared language around intimacy that honored both backgrounds. What’s most powerful in breaking these taboos is recognizing that discomfort around sexual topics isn’t a personal failing — it’s often the result of complex cultural messaging. When clients understand this context, they can approach their sexuality with curiosity rather than judgment. - Utkala Maringanti, Owner, Revive Intimacy

Balancing Biblical Teaching with Practical Reality
As a youth pastor for 17+ years, I’ve observed that sex remains a taboo subject in religious circles primarily because there’s rarely a framework for healthy discussion that balances biblical teaching with practical reality. Many churches resort to “just don’t do it” messaging without providing the reasons why or how to navigate relationships in a digital age. Growing up in church culture, I struggled with the disconnect between what the Bible actually teaches about sexuality (which is remarkably positive within the right context) versus the shame-based approach many youth ministries default to. This gap motivated me to create our “Clean” and “The Things We Hide” sermon series, which tackle these topics head-on. What’s been encouraging is seeing youth pastors use these resources to create safe spaces where teens can ask real questions. In one church using our curriculum, attendance doubled specifically because students finally had somewhere to process these topics without judgment. Young people aren’t looking to rebel — they’re desperate for honest conversation about issues they face daily.

The most effective approach I’ve found is addressing sexuality as part of a whole-person discussion about identity and relationships rather than isolating it as “the forbidden topic.” When we equip youth leaders with age-appropriate, biblically-grounded resources that acknowledge reality while maintaining values, teens actually become more committed to making wise choices, not less. - Daniel Maddry, Founder, Youth Pastor Co

Trauma Suppression Perpetuates Sexual Taboos
As an EMDR therapist specializing in sexual trauma, I’ve observed that sex remains a taboo subject because healing requires acknowledging painful experiences that many prefer to suppress. When clients first come to me, they often struggle to even use words related to their bodies or experiences — the shame is so deeply embedded that language itself becomes a barrier. In my practice, I’ve seen how sexual assault survivors initially believe their trauma response is a personal failing rather than a natural neurobiological reaction. This misunderstanding perpetuates shame and prevents healing conversations from even starting.

I wasn’t raised discussing sex openly, which initially made my trauma therapy work challenging. I had to confront my own discomfort with certain terminology before I could effectively create the safe space my clients needed. This personal growth transformed how I guide others through processing their experiences without judgment. What’s been transformative in my practice is teaching the neuroscience behind trauma responses. When a client understands why their nervous system reacts the way it does during intimate moments, the shame often dissolves. One client told me, “For the first time, I don’t feel broken — I feel like I’m having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.” - Taralynn Robinson, Owner, True Mind Therapy

Morality Overshadows Health in Sex Discussions
One reason sex remains a taboo topic in many Indian circles is the persistent association of sex with morality rather than health. As a doctor, I see this stigma play out every day, not in textbooks, but in real people’s lives. Patients often come in with conditions like recurrent UTIs, erectile dysfunction, or painful intercourse, but they hesitate to describe their symptoms honestly. Many women, especially, preface their concerns with, “Sorry, I’ve never talked about this before,” or whisper questions as if they’re confessing a sin. Sex is never seen as an essential part of a couple’s usual life but as something that needs to be done for the sake of making babies. An often overlooked part of the conversation regarding sex that is essentially for pleasure and enhancing a relationship and deepening intimacy is often looked down upon and is quite frustrating to address. I have had patients with tears in their eyes in cases of erectile dysfunction or female concerns like vaginismus that are alarmingly more widespread and frequent in young couples nowadays.

Young adults frequently rely on the internet or peers for sexual information, much of which is inaccurate because they’ve never had a safe, shame-free space to ask questions. I’ve had male patients in their late 20s who didn’t know that masturbation doesn’t cause infertility, or women who thought using contraception would make them “impure” or “less respectable.” These are not isolated cases; they’re alarmingly common. In fact, some patients only seek help once their marriage is at stake because they’ve never been taught that sexual wellness is part of overall health. Many times, I’ve had to begin consultations by first undoing years of silence, guilt, and misinformation before even addressing the medical concern. But the moment cultural taboos are lifted, it is like a veil that leaves their face, revealing a relief often not seen in many people’s lives. Conversations regarding orgasms, couple sexual issues, intimacy, and understanding are something even we as doctors weren’t privy to in medical school. Only after understanding and meeting different patients as sexologists could I realize how overlooked this tip of the iceberg actually is.

The taboo isn’t just cultural, it’s inherited. And until sex is seen as a normal part of physical and emotional wellbeing, this cycle of shame and secrecy will continue. - Dr. Anirudh Prasad, Consultant Physician, Allo Health