 Credit: Style My Soul, www.stylemysoul.com | Conflict Management in Relationships; Lifestyle Conflict management in relationships is an essential skill that helps individuals navigate disagreements in a healthy and constructive way. Since conflicts are a natural part of human interaction, the ability to communicate effectively, listen actively, and resolve differences respectfully strengthens trust and understanding. Presented below are insights and recommendations from seasoned professionals for how to manage conflict.
Call Timeouts To Cool Arguments I’ve learned to just call a timeout in arguments. The last time my friends and I were getting worked up, I suggested we take five minutes. It was awkwardly silent for a bit, but it worked. We all cooled off and had a much better talk. It keeps you from saying things you can’t take back, which is usually the whole point. — Dr. Nick Palmer, Founder, Orthodontics.net Keep Emotions Low And Forgive Never, ever, ever, ever get offended, or, when getting your message across, do your best not to get excited with lots of emotion and say things that are either hurtful or chase the good energy away. When a person is being attacked, or attacking, it closes off the education receptors in the mind, and it can’t absorb what the other individual is trying to express. So, it’s key that the temperature is low and that forgiveness is present. — David Fullmer, FOUNDER — CEO, FBC ROOFING Use I-Statements To Defuse Fights I used to say “You always” a lot in family fights and it would just fuel the fire. Now I say “I feel” instead and it’s crazy how much better it works, other people stop feeling defensive and just hear you. You don’t always fix the problem but at least you’re not yelling at each other anymore. - Emma Sansom, Managing Director, Flamingo Marketing Strategies Address Issues Directly, Skip Gossip I stopped letting issues get passed around the group after a problem with a friend. I talked to him directly instead of everyone else, and we solved it in minutes with no gossip. It just works better to keep the conversation between the people who are actually involved. — Sandro Kratz, Co-Founder & CEO, Tutorbase Fix One Issue, Not Everything Here’s something that works for me. I treat conflict like I’m debugging code. You don’t blame the whole program, you find the specific line causing the error. A friend and I were constantly bickering until we finally just pointed out the one habit driving us nuts. We talked about just that, and it fixed things. Don’t try to solve your entire friendship at once. Just find the one bug and fix it. — Vlad Ivanov, CEO, Search GAP Method Calm Down First, Then Resolve As a clinical psychologist at MVS Psychology Group, I work a lot with anger, relationships, adolescents and couples. My one tip: manage the arousal before you manage the issue. When voices rise, people often stop listening and start defending. A short, agreed “pause and return” is not avoidance; it’s nervous-system management. In family work, I’ve seen a curfew argument change completely when the parent and teenager agreed to stop once sarcasm or yelling appeared, take space, then come back to the practical question later. Same issue, very different outcome. The key is to actually return. “I’m too worked up to do this well; I’m going to take a break and come back to it after dinner” works far better than storming off or forcing a resolution while flooded. — Maxim Von Sabler, Director & Clinical Psychologist, MVS Psychology Group Take Conflicts Private, Talk One-on-One When I see a conflict starting with a friend, I don’t get into it publicly. I’ll just send them a text and ask to talk. A simple private chat usually clears up whatever the issue is, without anyone else getting involved. It’s not a fix-all, but keeping it one-on-one has saved me a lot of drama and kept my friendships solid. — Nick Christou, Director, Laptop-LCD-Screen.co.uk Start With Gratitude, Act Quickly One tip that consistently helps, in my experience as a matchmaker and dating coach, is addressing the issue immediately and thanking the person for their honest reflection and letting them know you appreciate that they feel secure enough in the relationship with you to bring up conflict rather than letting it fester. This immediately lowers their guard, and yours and puts you in a place of gratitude, rather than defensiveness. The first three minutes of a conflict are the most important, and determine the outcome of the entire conversation so focusing on making those first three minutes positive rather than negative will make a world of difference. — Jessica Strickland, Founder and CEO, Matchmaker AI Repeat Their Point Before Yours Family fights are weird because nobody’s really listening. During one intense argument, I suggested we each repeat what the other person said before saying our own thing. There was this silence for a second, which felt kind of weird. But then my sister nodded and said, “Oh, you’re saying that because X.” Suddenly we weren’t fighting anymore, we were just talking. It just worked. — Aja Chavez, Executive Director, Mission Prep Healthcare First Listen, Then Speak Well There is a wonderful quote from Rumi, a Persian Sufi, mystic and poet. “Since in order to speak, one must first listen, learn to speak by listening.” As a mediator and arbitrator, one of my super powers is to engage in active listening! - Pamela Bussey, Sole Proprietor, Bussey Arbitration and Mediation Services, LLC
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